We have had care givers thru agency that are paid for by insurance. My grandma has to be turned every two hours as a safety measure. The recent care giver said but she won’t be able to watch tv…. Told her if it was going to be an issue I’d talk to the agency. She quit and insulted me on the way out. She would feed my grandma but nothing else in the care of plan, later found out by my mom she was letting her stay in the incontinence underwear until my mom got home, no grooming barely gave her liquids late every day talk on the phone for hours on end. We have only had one care giver who was competent (she left bc her mom got sick we understood but she is missed) They also would tell us about past clients, I’d quickly change the subject but isn’t that information protected? It’s been horrible. It’s depressing. Insurance told us complaints are frequent. Yet somehow these women are certified? How? Any advice? I’m very drained.
When you pay people barely above minimum wage to deal with bathing, toileting and incontinence, and often physically demanding tasks,
when the employer ignores their concerns and input and treats them as disposable assets,
then throw in families and the care recipient who often treat them as some kind of lower caste person,
and people with dementia who may be overtly sexual, racist and/or violent,
And when someone IS competent, is even the kind of person who always goes the extra mile and who forms a true bond with the person they care for, they not recognized or recompensed in any way and are most often just tossed aside without any thought when their services are no longer needed, so they either begin to feel like they've been played for a fool and emulate those who don't give a ****, or they burn out and leave the profession entirely.
And let's not forget that demand far outstrips the number of people willing to do this work so there is no fear of losing a job because it's a simple matter to just move on to a different agency or client.
there’s also the cultural component. my grandma is Hispanic so all of our care givers have been Hispanic. I know my cultural and I know the good the bad the ugly. They’d tell
on themselves with how they spoke about their families their significant others. Can’t tell you how many times they’ve caught me eating or chilling before going to work or school and told me something personal that made my eyes bug out, like ma’am why?? So I understand people being burnt out but I also understand people being in the wrong field for the wrong reasons. We’re not honest as a society that not every woman is empathetic caring and compassionate those are personality traits that men can have just as well and are honed skills. I worked as a paraprofessional for 5 years for students with disabilities and it’s similar there too. I was very good at my job loved it put in the effort but driven out due to low wages and not being respected. Some people who I worked with were kind women immigrant women doing the best they could. A lot were incompetent and brutes, some talked about hitting the kids in front of me. (I reported it, nothing was done) not having fair wages and good benefits makes a lot of skilled workers leave in so many fields so I totally get that.
But we are also tired. This is a long goodbye for us. I’m watching someone I love slowly fade away. My mom is one of 7 and only three siblings help. I have one aunt who is great but is in florida so she helps financially. My mom is a teacher I’m in school and trying to keep my head above a mental health crisis which I know is a part of my history. It’s just a lot. I feel like I’m failing my grandma I’m tired and sad and I know something will give and I’ll rise above but for now I’m very tired.
The increase in the aging population and decrease in both birth rates and legal immigration has created the perfect labor shortage storm. You've got nothing to lose in asking the insurance company to work with you on a creative solution.
I see more and more that its "just a job" which has its up side but what happened to a job well done. My jobs were what I did well and I took pride in that no matter how much I made.
Whether you use an agency or private caregivers both require drop in visits & a lot of communication.
This is still well worth the time and energy.
The in home private cameras are wonderful also. We use the NEST brand from Amazon. It has audio, visual and motion notification alerts. Another way to keep an eye on the caregivers.
This may be just our experience and it comes with a caveat; my brother was not careful with the aides and some of them robbed him blind! His favorite aide, a truly compassionate person he thought, did everything for my mom and brother, but stole all her jewelry and many, many of his things and took the money to make dinner for the poor people in her building! Like a Robin Hood. We begged him to get cameras in the house and lock up the valuables to no avail. All my mother was saving for us was lost to these women. We did truly have some gems though , cheery, helpful women who would do anything for them, so I wouldn't give up trying if it came to that again. If you protect your valuables and try to weed the bad ones out it may be a big help.
I think that care is variable for almost any job. I do know that my brother's ALF was remarkable. Over the top in its care. Unusually good. I was so thankful for this. It's so difficult to think our folks aren't getting quality care.
Last but not least, agency-employed help gets paid practically nothing. Minimum wage or just above, and of course no benefits.
I've been in elder homecare almost 25 years. Many of those years were employed with an agency. Then I wised up and went private-duty only.
I was an adequate caregiver when I was low-wage with an agency. I certainly didn't knock myself out though. Client received what was in the care plan and the minimal at that and this was more than most agency caregivers will do. The agency expects us to go the extra mile, etc... Please. Not for what they're paying.
I go the extra mile for my private clients because I'm getting pay that I think is fair.
These are the reasons why agency-hired care is so bad. Their only concern is putting a worker in a house and collecting the money. They don't care of they worker is woefully incompetent or not doing right by the clients.
Care providers who are motivated by their heart (not their wallet) may ultimately be the most successful.
We are facing this as a process, a journey, and know it will take time to get a good match for my mom. I hope things settle for you and someone stable, pleasant and helpful comes your way!