<p data-uw-rm-sr="">I have decided I am going to Cook a Big Meal and My Birthday is tomorrow . My Father was Kidnapped to California 14 Months ago September 29, 2022 - I was under the belief he would be retuned after the Christmas vacation to Hawaii and and then Spring March 1, 2023 - That Never Happened . My sister is enjoying the $106,000 she confiscated , the credit card and vacations she is taking with His social security checks . I have No idea where he is if he is in her home or a NH . He was recovering from a stroke and Mid stages of vascular dementia and Alzheimers . I am Going to get a Christmas tree too and a wreath and hang some artwork tomorrow and get Organized . I am wishing all The Caregivers out there and People with out Family a Happy Safe holiday . It Is ok to be alone . We have sacrificed Our lives , Happiness , careers , travel Plans to take care of Our sick loved Ones . Please give back to yourselves and Nurture You and If your Ill relative is with you cherish them because it Might be the Last Thanksgiving They Have . Happy Thanksgiving to all the Wonderful caregivers out there . Karen
But to be honest, it's a first for me and my partner. We no longer want to do the Thanksgiving drive over the river and through the woods to daughter's house a bit more than an hour away. Lots of reasons why, but start with the long ride home in holiday traffic after dark and aging eyes at 81 and 83. For the safety of ourselves and others, better off the road. That's for starts.
Then it used to be more fun. You know us OLDSTERS. We loved the What Are You THANKFUL For roundtable. We loved the Board Games. We loved the TV off and gathering pretty leaves with the "little ones".
The little ones are all grown up. They gather Ipads now, and stay on them pretty much 24/7.
We used to choose one old movie and enjoy. Now the TV just blasts in the background.
We used to be able to stuff it all in with turkey, dressing, potatoes and gravy, a few glasses of wine and a dessert. Now it is GERD and all that good stuff, and no one wants us on the road 80s AND with wine on board.
Just lots of reasons, but this is a first, represents the beginning of more changes that must follow.
All understand. And we will be happy enough with our Turkey Breast and sides.
It's OK.
Wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy your holiday feast and happy, happy birthday. 🥳
I am cooking this year. It will only be our daughters and my younger brother who lives near me.
My daughters are coming over Wednesday evening and helping me cook. They are spending the night with us on Wednesday and will go home on Thursday evening.
This is actually easier than my normal Thanksgiving where I’ve allowed myself to be guilt tripped for years into hosting it (because “where will my brother go?”). I could say more, but this is a mostly positive thread and I don’t want to bring it down.
I was told I could bring mother to SILs, but I don’t want to subject them to her weirdness
I’m fuming, I told mom I only get 2 days off for Thanksgiving and now she’s committed me to both of them at her house. Plus I already have other plans for Friday. Not to mention there’s no way I could hire someone tomorrow to come Friday. I’m done being used and taken for granted. She can go into respite care for Christmas.
I thought I was doing the right thing. But no, shafted again.
I really hope you stick to your decision to put mom in respite care for Christmas. You're mad right now but are you mad enough to follow through? Hell keep her in respite care into the New Year if you really want to treat yourself.
You are going to keep getting shafted by mom until you get her ass back in a facility where she belongs.
It depends on the relative because many who post here are probably hoping it's the last Thanksgiving and last holiday season that gets to be ruined by a supposed loved one.
I will be spending it reassuring myself that I am OK as I am, and do not need the love and approval of others to be happy. I will be reminding myself it does not matter if I do not have a huge set of family around me who know me well or adore me. It is OK if I adore myself.
Otherwise, I would be slightly prone to disappointment at this time of year.