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<p data-uw-rm-sr="">I have decided I am going to Cook a Big Meal and My Birthday is tomorrow . My Father was Kidnapped to California 14 Months ago September 29, 2022 - I was under the belief he would be retuned after the Christmas vacation to Hawaii and and then Spring March 1, 2023 - That Never Happened . My sister is enjoying the $106,000 she confiscated , the credit card and vacations she is taking with His social security checks . I have No idea where he is if he is in her home or a NH . He was recovering from a stroke and Mid stages of vascular dementia and Alzheimers . I am Going to get a Christmas tree too and a wreath and hang some artwork tomorrow and get Organized . I am wishing all The Caregivers out there and People with out Family a Happy Safe holiday . It Is ok to be alone . We have sacrificed Our lives , Happiness , careers , travel Plans to take care of Our sick loved Ones . Please give back to yourselves and Nurture You and If your Ill relative is with you cherish them because it Might be the Last Thanksgiving They Have . Happy Thanksgiving to all the Wonderful caregivers out there . Karen

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Happy Thanksgiving, KNance.

I will be spending it reassuring myself that I am OK as I am, and do not need the love and approval of others to be happy. I will be reminding myself it does not matter if I do not have a huge set of family around me who know me well or adore me. It is OK if I adore myself.

Otherwise, I would be slightly prone to disappointment at this time of year.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
So True Ginger , I am Happy with My Own company . Happy Thanksgiving and Glad you love yourself xoxo Karen
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"If your Ill relative is with you cherish them because it Might be the Last Thanksgiving They Have"

It depends on the relative because many who post here are probably hoping it's the last Thanksgiving and last holiday season that gets to be ruined by a supposed loved one.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Ok Sp , This is True . Happy Thanksgiving - I feel you . Peace be with You . xoxo Karen
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So I got to mom’s house to relieve the Aid early today because she’s signing a lease and moving to a new apartment. I find out Mom had already given the aid an extra day off and told me right in front of her so I couldn’t object without being the Scrooge . Plus I already paid her ahead for the whole week.

I’m fuming, I told mom I only get 2 days off for Thanksgiving and now she’s committed me to both of them at her house. Plus I already have other plans for Friday. Not to mention there’s no way I could hire someone tomorrow to come Friday. I’m done being used and taken for granted. She can go into respite care for Christmas.

I thought I was doing the right thing. But no, shafted again.
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sp196902 Nov 22, 2023
Lily that really sucks. Mom keeps twisting that knife in you over and over. I probably would have been the scrooge if I were you. The aide was expecting to work and would have understood.

I really hope you stick to your decision to put mom in respite care for Christmas. You're mad right now but are you mad enough to follow through? Hell keep her in respite care into the New Year if you really want to treat yourself.

You are going to keep getting shafted by mom until you get her ass back in a facility where she belongs.
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My husband is working nights. My kids (20&23) are going to SILs to eat with her and my MIL/FIL. I’m cooking a full meal for me and my mother. I initially told her I’d cook and bring her some, but she wants me to come get her and bring her to my house. I miss my dad terribly. He got sick two years ago right at this time. I’m not a happy camper.
I was told I could bring mother to SILs, but I don’t want to subject them to her weirdness
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Try to enjoy yourself Oedgar and take a deep Breath . Ok . You will survive this , Happy Thanksgiving xoxo Love Karen
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I’m going to be taking care of mom primarily so I can give our hardworking Aid the day off, and not ask someone else to give up their holiday to do it. I’m going to make a big turkey pot pie and some simple side dishes (someone else will make a vegan main dish). My husband and 2 kids and my niece will share the meal with Mom & I.
This is actually easier than my normal Thanksgiving where I’ve allowed myself to be guilt tripped for years into hosting it (because “where will my brother go?”). I could say more, but this is a mostly positive thread and I don’t want to bring it down.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Sounds wonderful Lily , I am seeing many People including Vegan dishes which is so thoughtful . I really Hope you Enjoy Your Holiday with Family . Good for you for creating a Boundary .
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Happy birthday to you! Have a fabulous Thanksgiving Day!

I am cooking this year. It will only be our daughters and my younger brother who lives near me.

My daughters are coming over Wednesday evening and helping me cook. They are spending the night with us on Wednesday and will go home on Thursday evening.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Thank YOU and Happy Thanks giving with your Family- sounds Like so Much Fun !!!! . I am going to start cooking today , shop for a birthday Cake - there is a New Italian deli Look for a Tiramisu or a cannoli . Enjoy your Holiday with Family .
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Happy Birthday Knance72. 🥳🎉 and Happy Thanksgiving 🥧🏈.!!
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Thank you 909 - Happy Thanks giving to you - I see you will be watching FootBall - enjoy the Holiday .
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We'll be staying home. No late afternoon/night driving for us anymore (it's dark before 5:00 PM in our area at this time of year). Our youngest son and his fiancée (both in their 60s) offered to share their T'giving dinner by bringing it to us. They live about 15 minutes away, so it won't take a big chunk of their time. Y-a-a-y! No shopping, no cooking, no cleanup, no travel. Win-win with much appreciation to them.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Total Win Win Elizabeth , enjoy - It is so nice when someone else cooks . Sometimes My Birthday was on Thanksgiving and all I did was cook and clean .. I hear you - relax and have some fun . Happy Thanksgiving .
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I think this is going to be my easiest Thanksgiving ever! Last year was the first one after my husband died, which was in June, and I had it at my condo though everyone brought stuff and did a lot of the work. I prepared the turkey, stuffing, and gravy and everyone else brought appetizers, sides, and desserts and did all the set up and clean up. There were 15 of us I think. This year my nearby daughters are going to their in-laws and I'm invited to tag along to one set of in-laws who are local. They are lovely people, and very welcoming of extra guests. I was there for Christmas Eve and Easter. I don't even need to bring any food, as everyone else is taking care of that--just a couple of bottles of wine and some sparkling cider for the kiddos (we call it "kid wine"). They have an older cape-style house with lots of rooms but no really big room for a large table, so everything is served buffet style in the dining room and we eat wherever we can find a space--mainly in the newer family room addition. Some of the folks are vegan and they usually bring some kind of vegan "loaf" for protein, and others are mindful of this and try to adapt recipes to avoid animal products. But there for sure will be a turkey. The only think I don't like about having Thanksgiving at someone else's place is that I miss having leftovers. Thanksgiving dinner leftovers are the best! Hope you all have a bountiful and peaceful day.
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pamzimmrrt Nov 21, 2023
I save those deli containers all year long to send leftovers home with people, its always too much for hubs and I and we end giving stuff to the feral cats!
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Thank You Lelonnie looking forward to a break for a couple days - Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas
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Karen
Enjoy your holiday feast and happy, happy birthday. 🥳
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KNance72 Nov 21, 2023
Thank You Happy Thanksgiving Dear
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Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. It is a good thing to make yourself happy by celebrating!!!! Cheers!!!!!!
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KNance72 Nov 21, 2023
Thanks Dear Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas
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I am spending my Thanksgiving wishing I was at the table at Lisa's Brother's house!

But to be honest, it's a first for me and my partner. We no longer want to do the Thanksgiving drive over the river and through the woods to daughter's house a bit more than an hour away. Lots of reasons why, but start with the long ride home in holiday traffic after dark and aging eyes at 81 and 83. For the safety of ourselves and others, better off the road. That's for starts.
Then it used to be more fun. You know us OLDSTERS. We loved the What Are You THANKFUL For roundtable. We loved the Board Games. We loved the TV off and gathering pretty leaves with the "little ones".
The little ones are all grown up. They gather Ipads now, and stay on them pretty much 24/7.
We used to choose one old movie and enjoy. Now the TV just blasts in the background.
We used to be able to stuff it all in with turkey, dressing, potatoes and gravy, a few glasses of wine and a dessert. Now it is GERD and all that good stuff, and no one wants us on the road 80s AND with wine on board.

Just lots of reasons, but this is a first, represents the beginning of more changes that must follow.
All understand. And we will be happy enough with our Turkey Breast and sides.
It's OK.

Wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving.
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KNance72 Nov 21, 2023
So True Alva Dear , enjoy your Thanks giving . I Can relate to the iPad deal ..... hahahahah
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Thank you, Karen! It's good to know that you are planning a happy bunch of holidays for yourself.
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KNance72 Nov 21, 2023
Thanks Fawnby - Life goes on - Happy Thanks giving and Christmas
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Happy Birthday Karen and Happy Thanksgiving too! Enjoy the feast you cook and get in some well deserved R&R.
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KNance72 Nov 22, 2023
Thanks Lealonnie , Yes its Nice to Just relax and I do enjoy cooking . My Birthday I will Buy some flowers or a Plant , a wreath for Christmas . You get some rest too - Happy Thanks giving
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