She 76. I think she has some idea. She is very independent well able pay bills knows names. If went somewhere few hours like last Friday went a town half hr away from near both of us on way home she asks what town were we in? I cook meat now and she doesn't even argue that normally she say do that herself she lives with my dad.
How is your Mom's eyesight? Sometimes our elder's eyesight isn't the best, and that can also confuse them especially if out traveling in areas that are not traveled by them on a regular basis.
Good Luck Eibhlin, this is Your time to make new and beautiful memories with Your Mom.
Consult with an Elder Care Lawyer, get POA's in place for Finances, Health Care and she should probably sign a P.O.L.S.T that is the "new" DNR. P.O.L.S.T. stands for Physicians Order For Life Sustaining Treatment and it is more detailed than a DNR.
She will forget that she said that she does not want to burden you with her care and when she can no longer care for herself that she will be willing to go into Living or Memory Care. but the fact that you talked about it when she is aware will help you in the decision when the time comes. Or if she knows what is to come she may be willing to look at Assisted Living now.
But it will also give you a greater amount of time for her to plan for possibility of going on Medicaid. There is a "look back" but planning now can help.
Another reason...enjoy each other now. The Mom you have now is not the Mom you will have in 6 months, 12 months or 2 years from now.
Not everyone recognizes that they have a problem. She may be forgetful, but she may not recognize the problem. I worked for an Alzheimer's center and let me put it to this way. Originally our shirts said "Center for Alzheimer's Disease" then a patient had a break down realizing she was going to the center because she had Alzheimer's. We changed the shirts immediately, so even we don't tell them.
She will eventually (probably, but even then not always) figure it out. Is it really necessary that you bring it up? Most doctors, nurses and medical workers know not to call it out. There will be times that you will need to tell her, to explain why she can't do something that may be dangers, like use the stove... but you can say it gently. What I tell my mother, who forgets that she has a memory problem and thinks it's us with the problem, is that she is very forgetful, but it's okay because it's not her fault. It's just something that happens and so this is what *insert someone she respects highly* says for us to do.
I wish you luck but she is really in the very early stages and it may very well be that she does not know she has a problem. She may think that others are doing this to her and that's a normal reaction. Look at it from her point of view. She's raised kids, paid bills, maybe worked and was an intelligent woman, there is no way this is her problem! Surely others are mistaken.
That she let you cook is a sign, but she may reason with herself that she just didn't feel like doing it.
Give her lots of love and let her know that. :)
I think someplace in her mind and at times she does know that there is a problem with her memory but she gets angry and says she is not stupid. I tell her she is not stupid, but even Einstein could have memory issues that is not a direct correlation with IQ (which my mother is very vain about IQ).
It is very hard to slowly have to take over all the things she use to be able to do, like drive, and cook and balance her check book, or even make out checks. And I don't correct her when she says she still does those things.
So my basic answer is it depends on how well or badly you think your mother would take the news of a diagnosis of AD.