Follow
Share

My mother has dementia. Her doctor says she cannot take care of her health care decisions or finances she is incapable. This make her trust irrevocable. My other siblings have talked her out of going to the doctor a new one that deals with elderly issues. Adult Protective Services has this letter bust insists she can refuse to go to the doctor and she can live at home. My siblings who are either felons or drug distributors are staying there. They never came around before. My mothers living trust is very specific and she went to a spanish speaking attorney but of course doesn't remember now. All APS say is that if we can't get along she will go to the state.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
As many discover when intra-family affairs become complicated, a POA does not have as much force as one might need. This is why, in a addition to a POA, a "Pre-Need Guardian" document should be included in the estate planning process. If you truly wish to have dominion over your mother's legal and health matters, guardianship will do it. You will need an attorney to help you file for same.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Get an attorney,look into legal aid if your money is tight. Tell, the doctor to put his decision into writing.
State institutions are scary. But they are not as bad as the public thinks they are. She will have medical care available 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Healthy meals, and bathing and hygiene assistance as well. She will also have more opportunity to socialize. Many homes have Spanish speaking attendants, and care givers.
She will be safe from the unhealthy drug traffic.
Her living will should have her attorney's name address and phone number on it .
Good luck and big hugs.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

We had similar problems with our mother. Two siblings who had little contact with Mom thoughout their adult lives wanted nevertheless to control her and her money. Catholic Charities (the entity contracted with the county to provide social services) was completely taken in by one of the long distance children and even intervened when Mom's doctor said Mom needed to not live at home due to conditions there (hoarding, no downstairs bath, repeated calls for fire and rescue due to leaving food in broiler, a fall in a snow drift and Mom's inability of get up while not dressed for outdoors, not paying her bills) resulting in his going back on his finding that Mom not live at home. My sister who did live near Mom had both POA and Medical POA but the other out of town sister (aided and abbeted by the out of town brother) convinced Mom to get on a plane to another state where she was beyond the jurisdiction of my sister who held the POA's. In my opinion local social services employees are in most cases incompetent. They need to attend classes on how to determine when warring siblings are sociopaths based on their behaviors and on past actions and on how to deal with the elderly who have Dementia. IMHO they as a group have little or no expertise and fail to grasp even the most basic understanding of symptoms of Dementia patients. They take a side and the end result is disastrous for the elderly person and for her children. My mom's estate was devasted with funding going for lawyers, guardians and homes which she had no need for had she followed the prescriptions she had made for herself before the onslaught of Dementia. The sister with the POA's was not working and had an apartment in her home set up for Mom so that she could provide her care. If anyone reading this comment has a similar situation in the Syracuse New York area seize control immediately using a competent elder care attorney because once your elderly relative is removed to another state there is little you can do to restore your legal POA's. Catholic Charities is incompetent and corrupt as are other contracting social service agencies employed by the local government there.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I strongly agree with getting an attorney because it sounds like you definitely need one in this particular case. Chances are that the attorney may want to see any proof of POA. You may even want to go back to the attorney who helped you get it (if you used one). Sounds like you may actually want to go for guardianship, which gives you far more power. I should also warn you that sometimes abuse happens in some institutions. I'm not trying to scare you, but simply warn you of what I saw this summer in an Alzheimer's unit of one of our local nursing homes. I witnessed an abusive gesture against a resident at the hands of a worker. Yes, I saw this with my own two eyes when I was visiting someone that I went to see. I'm not sure whether or not they area was under video surveillance, I can only hope so. Be very wary you're placing your love one in a nursing home. Definitely do your homework very thoroughly before making a decision. You want to choose a home with the highest rating possible. You also want to check the web for consumer reviews and complaints against any perspective facility that you may be considering. You also want to check with the BBB and see if there are any complaints against that facility. I should also warn you that if you ever witnessed abuse against any resident whatsoever, definitely report it to the head department of nursing of that facility.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

For some reason, government agencies do not except POAs. I guess because they can be changed at any time. They do except conservatorship/guardianship. My nephew gets a government annuity and to change from Mom to me I have to geta conservatorship because they will not except POA.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Trusts are typically created to avoid probate.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Retain an attorney.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

So basically its not worth it to get a living trust. I can just put everything in a persons name, home bank accounts etc. Beat paying a lawyer, cause their not helping at all. Just money down the drain. I am very frustrated at this point
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

POA is definitely NOT guardianship - won't accomplish the same objectives and POA can be changed. I'm a little puzzled why APS would want or need to recognize a POA - the elder can rescind it at any time and it simply does not give a holder the kind of authority needed in this situation. Sort a like trying to launder your clothes in the microwave.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

upsett, what you need is Guardianship status. The POA does not automatically take away her right to make decisions. You need letters from two MD's who certify she is incompetent. Your POA document has to have specific wording about when and how it kicks in. Go back to the attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter